Indonesian Muslim Wedding Ceremony (Sacred Steps and Ceremony)

Do you wanna know about Indonesia muslim wedding ceremony? In every country, the marriage tradition must have its own characteristics and uniqueness. It is also the same for some Islamic countries in the world, such as Indonesia, India, and Saudi Arabia, which are predominantly Moslem must also have diversity and tradition in carrying out such a sacred event, The Marriage.

Indonesian Muslim Wedding Ceremony (Sacred Steps and Ceremony)

Despite having different tribes and groups, Indonesian Muslim has a patent tradition that must be met and fulfilled in a series of weddings. Here is the series of Indonesian muslim wedding ceremony!

1. Ask for Considerations

For a Muslim man, before he decide to marry a woman to be his wife, let him also ask for consideration from his close relatives. They should be people who know exactly about marriage, religions, and mostly older people to give him some valuable advice. 

Similarly for women who will be proposed by a man, she should ask for consideration from her close relatives who have good insight into religion and marriage. Also, this becomes an important first stage to have their willingness. Mostly, they need to ask their parents before getting married. This has also become the part of praying both from the family members.

In some areas, they ask for marriage consideration by kneeling on the parent’s knee, telling them good things, apology, grateful expression, and everything they need to say. Indeed, they may talk heart to heart and likely discuss about life after marriage and so on.

2. Sholat Istikharah (Prayer)

After getting consideration from the closest relative, both the future wife and husband are suggested to do Sholat Istikharah to establish and ask Allah what is the best decision to take. Sholat istikharah is a prayer to ask Allah to choose what is right and what is better to do when you are in doubt of something.

This prayer is not only done for the purpose of finding a mate only, but in all matters if a person experiences a sense of indecision to take a decision about an important thing. This is to abstain from the possibility of falling into the suffering of life. May Allah give us the easy way in deciding the right choice.

Istikhara prayer time can be done anytime both day and night, but the best time is during one-third night or can be said in the middle of the night after Shalat Isya at night. It’s held in 3 rakat and almost the same as performing salat in general. It’s preferred to read Surat Al Kafirun in the first rakat and Surat Al Ikhlas in the second rakat. 

You may also want to read: South Korean Dating Culture – 17 Traditions and Customs

3. Khitbah (The Proposal)

When you finally decide you really wanna marry that woman for sure, then you move to the next Muslim wedding tradition in Indonesia, which is called Khitbah in Arabic. Khitbah means the proposal. 

The groom to-be needs to ask permission from the woman’s parents and family for the marriage. If the woman and her parents say yes, then you will organize the wedding, date, celebrations, and every detail needed. Further, you need to be ready to held Indonesia muslim wedding ceremony.

4. Ijab Qabul (Marriage Settlement or Marriage Vow) 

Ijab Qabul means the wedding vow. This is the main requirement in Islamic weddings. There are some main terms and obligation in Indonesian muslim wedding ceremony, they are: 

• Agreement 

Both the bride and groom agree to marry one and another based on love and responsibility in religion. The couple is not forced by anything to hold the wedding. They simply want a tight commitment, blessing, and will stay for each other for worse or better. 

• Wali (The Guardians) 

Wali is the term used to call the closest relatives from the bride to marry them. The Wali agreement’s is also one of the marriage obligation in Muslim tradition. You cannot get married without Wali’s witness and approval.

For the groom, it’s not required to have Wali but it’s obligatory for the bride. Then, who can be the bride’s Wali? Here are the classification: 

The closest male family from the bride, which is the father. If the father is already gone, her brothers can be the Wali. If the bride doesn’t have brothers, her uncles can be the Wali. Wali should be a male family, an adult, and healthy physically and mentally. 

• Penghulu (The Headman)

Penghulu is like the preacher who will lead the marriage ceremony according to the religion rules. Penghulu is also the representation from the religious courts. 

The preacher will guide the bride to spell the wedding vow in front of Wali, the witness, and everyone there. We will explain on the next point about the wedding vow in Islamic rule.

You may also wanna read about Learn about Dating Culture Differences between East and West 

• The Witness 

The next mandatory in Islamic wedding rule is the witness. The marriage without witness approval is not valid. 

There are 2 witnesses needed to to testify that you two are married. The witness can be anyone in this classification: 

• Adult male. 
• Muslim. 
• Mentally healthy. 
• Not blind, mute, or deaf. 
• Witnesses must understand the language used by Wali and the groom.

The witness can be the groom’s relative, the bride’s relative, the religious leader, community leaders, or a trusted relative. 

• Mahar (Dowry) 

Islam glorifies women by requiring men to marry the women by giving her Mahar (dowry). Islam does not set certain value limits in this dowry, but based on the agreement of both parties. Islam also prefers easy and simple dowry and something that’s not too much. 

In the process, the groom should spell the Ijab Qabul correctly in front of Penghulu, Wali, Witness, and the bride if you prefer to. This consists of the name of the bride, the bride father’s name, and the dowry. Actually, this is not just Indonesian muslim wedding ceremony but the marriage obligation for all Muslim based on the holy book. 

You may also want to read: An Open Letter to My Abusive Ex Boyfriend’s New Girlfriend

5. Walimah ‘Ursy (The Wedding Celebration)

Walimah ‘Ursy or commonly known as the wedding celebration. The word Walimah itself comes from the word al-Walamu which in English means “meeting”. In the Fiqih dictionary, mentioned that Walimah is food for weddings. 

For the celebration, you can manage if you wanna invite people or you just wanna invite your closest families and friends. The most important thing is the couples notify people that you two are married. You could wear Indonesia muslim wedding dress, for the bride is a long gown with hijab, that could be modern or traditional gown. 

That’s about Indonesian muslim wedding ceremony. Marriage is a direct trust of Allah and His Messenger, and every mandate demands responsibility. What an extraordinary marriage, even with a simple saying, with the aqad marriage, the deed of which was originally forbidden now is halal allowed. Now the couple lives happily in the wedding by Allah’s approval.